How Do You Handle Your Kids' Homework Meltdowns?

Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council consisting of local Marple and Newtown parents, take your questions, give advice and share solutions.

This week's question:

Q: How do you motivate your children to do their homework, and stick with it until it is done?

Answer from Val B. (mom of 3): Homework gets done right away, as soon as they come home from school at this age especially–routine, routine, routine. It's also crucial to give them a snack before or with homework.

Answer from Susan McAnally (mom of 3): It's hard and I don't know the right answer but I make sure my daughter has had a snack or eaten dinner and I try my best to keep all distractions at bay, which can be very difficult especially when my husband is away because her little brothers are running around.

Answer from Gina Doney (mom of 2): The rule is: you have to do your homework right after school. When my son comes in, he has a little snack then its homework time! It's not smooth sailing each time but it gets done.

Answer from Carolynn Vogel (mom of 3): We set a half-hour limit to get the work done. Obviously if it's really hard, the length could be modified. So when I have a child that does not want to get it done, I created a reward system for them. Every time the homework was completed in the time frame, they got a sticker. At the end of the week if they had stickers for everyday, they got a reward. The reward was either I pick them up from school as a car rider for a special snack, a play date, a trip for ice cream, etc. It did help to stay positive with the rewards instead of always focusing on trying to get it done. It worked for my kids.

Answer from Roe (mom of 4): It is a tough question. I always have a snack ready on the table for the boys when they get home from school and they start their homework immediately. I have to sit at the table and pretend to read a book or something, but I am just there to monitor them and to keep them on track. I do not accept phone calls or answer the door during this time. I have the younger two kids play down in the basement. They know that they have to do it. First grade is hard because the kids think that it is a joke and that they can fool around. But stick with it because second school-grade homework is double first. You really have to stay on them. Also if they forget the homework more than twice in one week, no DS or WII or TV all week. We only allow the DS on the weekends.

Answer from Sara (mom of 2): As a speech therapist I would suggest:

• A set schedule and amount of time for when your child does homework each night, you can get an idea of how much time the child should be spending on homework by asking their classroom teacher;
• Make sure the homework is not too hard. Keep the teacher informed of the situation. If the homework is too hard, modifications need to be made (i.e., maybe your child only needs to do the even numbered problems); and
• Set up a simple token reward system if the child is still struggling to complete the homework (i.e., they get a sticker for each night of the week that they finish their homework and at the end of the week, if they earn an x amount of stickers, they get to do a fun activity with mom and/or dad but make sure the reward is highly motivating to the child). As the child becomes more independent, the reward system can be extinguished by giving the child verbal praise for his accomplishments.

Answer from Heather (mom of 2): Before starting homework, ideally a healthy snack and some time to play would be nice. Set a homework starting time beforehand. Some kids may need several breaks to get their work done. I used to use a silent timer in my classroom which gave kids a visual ending time. When the red portion was gone, it was time to stop. Just some time to get up walk around, get some water, etc. Here is the website: http://www.timetimer.com/

Answer from Megan (mom of 1): While I have not dealt with any of these issues yet (since my son is only 5), I am an occupational therapist and have come across some strategies that help to “calm” a child’s nervous system so that he or she can focus/attend longer to his homework and hopefully have fun doing it. Here are a few examples:

• Give 5-minute "movement breaks” in between long “sit-down” periods of homework (maybe a 5-minute break after 20 minutes of homework). I am not necessarily talking about unstructured/running around movement breaks, but more creative breaks in which you can incorporate movement into getting your child’s homework done. Can you let your child “animal walk” to find a reading word or "wheel-barrel walk" to his next spelling word, or can he recite is spelling words while clapping and/or bouncing on an exercise ball...that kind of thing.
• Be creative when considering their positioning when working on homework–sometimes allowing for standing time during homework, or allowing your child to sit on an exercise ball at the table while completing his homework, or even letting him lie on his belly to complete a worksheet will be helpful. This will provide your child with extra “sensory input” to his joints, and this type of input usually helps kids to better focus on the task at hand.
• Chewy and crunchy foods can also be very organizing to kids. Maybe let them chew on a Twizzler or piece of gum, or snack on some crunchy pretzels while working on homework and see if that helps. Sucking through a straw, water bottle, or lollipop can also be very organizing to kids to help them focus on their homework
• Using a timer (especially a visual one so a child can actually see the time going down) has also helped some parents. If you set it for 15-20 minutes and encourage your child to try to get as much done in that time period and then after the time is up, allow for a 5-minute movement break (see above).
• Using a reward system can also work. I know parents that give out “tickets” every time the kids complete a homework subject and then on Fridays the kids can trade in their tickets for “prizes"–10 tickets and the child can pick the choice for dinner on a Friday night or can pick a Friday night family activity (game night, movie night, etc.); five tickets and the child gets to stay up an extra five minutes at bed time… that kind of thing.

Answer from Sarah Grossman (mom of 2): First of all, recently I started trying not to call it homework. I look at the list and I say things like: it's time to do math worksheet 12-4. Then he starts rustling around his packet for the right worksheet. If he wants to do all his math in one night, we let him. If he has a preference about what to start with, I try to hear it and let it happen the way he wants it to. For spelling words: we brainstorm a bunch of sentences before we pick one to actually write out in the notebook with lots of spelling help from mom and dad, and last night when he wrote "wif" instead of "with," I left it in his notebook because I want him re-evaluated for speech and our IEP meeting is coming up. We tend to do the work each night directly after dinner while one of us finishes feeding ourselves, the baby or both and clean up. We use a letter line and a number line at every session. If the fuss starts, sometimes we do the shower time first and the work second. We break it up: worksheets in the kitchen, reading in bed followed by a few books read by us to him. I finally asked two weeks ago to receive the homework packet on Friday so we can maybe get a jump start over the weekend. It is helping a little. Our teacher just recently added a robust vocab packet to the already pounds of work. We never look at it. We have plenty on our plates as it is.